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Sunday, January 13, 2013

Providence! Not Coincidence

'Overcoming CDH' (the title of the blog)... originally we thought that it pertained to Noa surviving. Seems now that it's about Heidi and I, and how we will "overcome" our loss (present and future). I can say that it's by the grace of God that we're able to stay positive. One thing that we didn't want to be told was that, "God won't give you more than you can handle". This really is too much. But maybe it's our faith or the trust we put in Him that gives us hope through this.

Here are some examples of how He's definitely letting us know that He's in it with us:
-I painted this in 07 for Heidi while we were dating. Cool thing about it is that there are three birds in the tree... (Ruby, Emmaus and Noa). Two are flying and one has landed.

9Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: 10If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.
                                         Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

It's hard to explain how true this verse is and at the same time how hard it is to see it out. Realistically, when Heidi is overcome with sadness, all that I can do is hold her and be in it with her. Sometimes the only words that come out are, "I know" (if any words come out at all).

-I got in the habit of playing Josh Garrels on my iphone for Noa during my nightly visits. I wanted her to hear the music that moves and inspires me. It just so happens that he lives in Portland. The night after Noa passed away, Heidi and I took the kids out to eat (HUB) and in the booth next to us was his wife and kids. I was able to tell her (through my tears) that our baby had gone to be with Jesus and that I played his music for her. It's not like me to be so bold, but it meant a lot to me to tell her.

-We went looking for a box/case to protect and display a plaster cast of Noa's hand and foot. We didn't see anything in the store even close to what we were looking for. On a clearance table on the back wall of the store, among random other items, Heidi found this treasure box.

I didn't even know what to say. Just one of those moments where the hair on the back of your neck stands up. We knew we had to get it... it was meant for us. The name isn't on the actual box itself, but its still hard for me to think that it's just a coincidence. (If you can't read the small print....the name on the box is 'Noa'!

-Some friends of our here in Spokane had dinner with a family from Colorado and they started sharing our story with them and they said that their church had heard about us and had been praying for us.

-Heidi had a follow up appointment with Dr. Hilton (our OB).We debated if we should even keep it, if it was necessary. We both had a fear of the emotions that would arise from being back in the office that we had so many appointments in. We shared hugs and tears with the Nurses and Dr's that were a part of our journey. On the way out while saying our goodbyes, the stenographer (Rita) who initially found Noa's CDH walked past us in the hall. No words, just a smile. It put bookends to our story there.

Really, there are so many stories of people who don't know us and might not ever get to meet us who supported us through prayer and giving. It's been a learning experience in so many ways for our family, mainly about receiving. There are too many people to thank and those are only the one we know of. All we can do is thank God and pray he blesses you like he did (and still does) for us.

Thank you everyone.

1 comment:

  1. Justin, YOU humble ME! Thank you for sharing and being so transparent.
    God bless you all. xxoo