When I went to see Noa on Thursday, there was the tiniest bit of pee in her catheter! It wasn't anything official, but it was enough to lift my heaviness and give some hope. Medically, there are stages that define someone regaining kidney function...and this wouldn't even qualify as the first stage, but it was so good to see. I had been having such a hard time pushing past the intensity of this time line. Something has got to give soon and the pressure of that is so intense. So many variables. So we just decided too let go and live in the hope. We went to the toy store and bought Emmaus some cars and Ruby a set of bugs in resin, a couple videos and finished with ice cream topped with sprinkles.
Today, her lungs had improved and the doctors agreed to allow a more 'positive' fluid level. When I left her this evening, there still had been no urine. But...they said it could take up to 2 weeks to see anything. I am getting use to seeing her swollen. Its pretty sad though. She hasn't opened her eyes in over a week. You can see the lids sort of move as if she would like to open them, but they are too swollen. I pray her vision is ok. I just read on a website that other babies her age are starting to focus further away and track an object across the room.
Although I hadn't heard it earlier in the day, the dialysis nurse told me she thought they were planning on doing a circuit (dialysis machine) change tomorrow (Saturday). Of coarse I knew the day was coming but I am nervous. My mind starts racing and I want to control things but can't. I suddenly loose confidence in all the staff because of the ongoing issues Noa encounters with each change and their inability to prevent it or even know why it happens exactly. Its like we're just crossing our fingers and hoping it goes smooth.
If we really do have a circuit change tomorrow...I will be covered by God's feathers, tucked away under his wing.